Randomness

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Moments defined in a song

Recently I had a friend ask me what songs I would pick to make up defining moments in my life. Good question, there are so many influential songs out there but after giving it some thought I would have to go with the following for specific reasons:

( I know some of the songs might be a little odd but its more the words in the songs that defined moments in my life than the songs themselves)

These Are The Days- 10,000 Maniacs:

This song always reminds me of my 3 best friends over the past 20 years.

These are the days you might fill with laughter until you break.These days you might feel a shaft of light make its way across your face and when you do then you'll know how it was meant to be see the signs and know their meaning.

Wind Beneath My Wings-Bette Midler:

My mom and I saw Beaches together when it first came out and we both instantly loved this song. The last gift I ever bought my mom were tickets to go to see Bette Midler and she called me while this song was being played. When she passed away we had " She was the wind beneath our wings" written on her grave.

In My Life- The Beatles:

There are places I'll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All this places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I've loved them all

Secret Garden-Bruce Springsteen:

When I heard this song during the movie Jerry Maguire it was the moment I fell in love for the first time.

With Or Without You- U2:

I have loved this song for as long as I can remember and every time I hear it I still get chills.

Just Like Heaven- The Cure:

I can be in the worst mood ever and I hear this song and it puts me in a good mood instantly.

My Wish- Rascal Flatts:

When deShea was pregnant with Celia she didn't know what she was having and did not tell anyone the names that they had picked out. She called me on my way back from lunch and told me that she had had a little girl. Once I hung up the phone with her I turned on the radio and this was the first song that was playing and the words in it were so perfect for Celia. It became my song to her and every time that I hear it I still think of her and even put the words from the chorus in my letter to her for her baby book;

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it,
to your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more then you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too.

#41- Dave Matthews Band:

Helped me get over one of the hardest times in my life.

I will go in this way
And I'll find my own way out
I won't tell you to stay
But im coming to much more...Me
all at once the ghosts come back
Reeling in your mind
Oh what if they came in crashing
Used to be that we would play for all that loneliness that nobody
notices now.

Leaving New York- REM:

This was the last song that was played at Navid's memorial service that all of our friends had for him and as long as i live I will never forget the emotion that we all felt at that moment.

You might've laughed if I told you,
You might have hidden your frown.
You might've succeeded in changing me,
I might've been turned around.
It's easier to leave than to be left behind,
Leaving was never my proud,
Leaving New York never easy,
I saw the light fading out.

Every Breath You Take- The Police:

Back in high school, deShea and I were hanging out at my house and she called up one of the radio stations and asked them to dedicate this song to her boyfriend at the time. The DJ asked her how old she was and when she said 16 he told her that he would not play this song for her because of the words" Every breath you take, every move you make, I will be watching you" and then said that it sounded like someone stalking their boyfriend. He hung up the phone and we both started hysterically laughing and this became the song that every time we would hear it we would think of each other. I saw them play in concert at Virgin Festival back in 2007 and remember calling her to have her listen to it over the phone.

The Way We Were- Barbara Streisand:

My grandpa always played this song on the piano when I was little and for my grandparent's 50th anniversary we had a surprise party for them and made a video with pictures to this song. It will always remind me of my grandparent's and how happy they were together.

Juicy- Biggie:

I know this is a strange song to have on here but it was me and my girls song in high school and to this day we all think of each other when we hear it. Just brings back good memories of us all hanging out and being silly and stupid back when we were young.

Goodbye 2010, you really won't be missed much

As 2010 slowly comes to an end I find myself thinking about all that happened during this year, good and bad. I have never been one to make resolutions when it comes to the new year ahead, I think that you should just live everyday as it comes and lets all face it, we never really stick to them anyways, at least I never have when I have made them. This year was filled with changes for me, some which I wish that I could take back and some where I want to go and relive the moments over and over again.

Just a few 2010 highlights;

*Driving down 16th street and Tara calling me to tell me that she was pregnant with Twins

*"Traycee, you're boobs are huge, what are you pregnant?" her looking at me and then us running to CVS to not only find out that she was pregnant but 4 months along.

*Getting to go to my best friends brother's wedding in the dead heat of July in Atlanta

*All the early morning's during the world cup that I woke up at 6am just to get downtown before the rush started at the bars.

*Being able to cross off 4 of my bucket list bands who I had never seen before( who were all totally worth the wait)

*Loosing my wallet in the snow while we rolled around drunk on the ground in the middle of Jan

*The 3 huge snowstorms that we had this year and me getting snowed in at 3 different people's house's.

* Going to see Deadmau5 at 9:30 club 2 times in 3 days

* Learning how to play craps with Jimmy and Marissa in Denver

*Couch bonding weekend with T and I in NY

*Getting to hold Courtney and Cooper for the 1st time

* My Tuesday visits with Trace and Aiden

*The amazing birthday that I had this year and the even better hangover that I woke up with the next morning

* Going to Jay's almost every Friday and sometimes Saturday night and the crazy stories that came out of that place:

*Nick and I feeling Zoe's boobs in the bathroom, one hand on each

*Joe passing out in the middle of the bar and then throwing up in my car

*Shayne and her damn tequila shots

*Neal not even being able to make it past 12 at his own b-day party( although I dont think I made it much further on my b-day from what I remember)

*Parking lot kisses after the bar had closed

*Hal-idays!!

*The way that Jimmy picked me up at the airport in Denver ( classic and I will never forget it)

* The great way that my shot glass collection has suddenly grown this year, thanks to Joey and all the traveling that he did

Watching a certain someone, who will remain nameless not even to be able to make it on her bed and having to curl up on the floor in a ball on her bday while I laid in her bed and laughed

Now don't get me wrong there are many more good times that have happend, those are just a few of the ones that were the most fun and memorable to me this year. Of course along with the good there is always the bad. I am not going into a list of those, mainly because I would like to forget about most of them. In reality, I would like to go back 6 months and erase a big chunk of time but you can't. I feel as though I have learned a lot this year not only about myself but about those people who I surround myself with. Some of them have disappointed me in more ways than one and shown their true colors and some of them have changed for the better more than I could have ever imagined that they would. Many of my friendships have become so much stronger than they ever were and for that I am so grateful. Those are the people who I hold close to me and the ones that I know if I called at 3am they would be there for me no matter what, the ones that listen to my rants and raves about relationships, deal with my infamous drunk texts at all hours of the night, although I have gotten much better about that lately, friends and who are there and were there for me with my family this year. For that I say thank you, you guys don't know how much you mean to me; sap, sap, tear, tear :-p

So, 2011 I am curious as to what you have in store for me besides moving on Jan 3rd. I am sure that whatever it is if nothing it will be an adventure as it always is!

To be or not to be...

Is honesty always the best policy? What if it hurts the other person, or do we even care anymore?Have we become so accustom to hurting another by our words, thoughts and actions that we don't bother to take into account anyone else's feelings but our own? Why is it so hard to do? Why do we allow people to hurt us over and over and think that it is totally acceptable when in reality it is totally unacceptable in every element of the word. Is it so hard just to be honest about things? I am no better than the next at this point, I have been honest and it has gotten me nowhere but on the same token I have been dishonest and it has not done anything good or bad. So, where do we draw the line on what should be said and what should be kept a secret in silence in our own minds. I know the things I want in life and I don't usually have a problem expressing them to people or do I? I am finding as I get older that the things that I thought were "acceptable" in my early/late 20's are not longer things that I am going to allow in my life, ex: The term casual gets thrown out so much in you're early years but when you hit you're 30's is anything really causal anymore? We should and I say should loosely know what we want from our carer, partners and friends, but how many of us actually do? I am not a fan of casual mainly because I lived that way through most of my 20's and small portion of my early 30's. I know what I want and I will not be willing to accept less from someone else. Not just in relationships but friendships as well. I have let go of a lot of people over the past 2 years who I at one point or another had considered to be a big part of my life. Some of those people were let go due to me growing up and getting older, figuring what I want in life and going after it and those people staying the same as they were when I first met them. I have had friendships that had died off and I thought would never be rebuilt come full circle and start over again in a totally new light mainly due to distance, time and maturity. But where is the fine line crossed of what do we really want in life? Are we willing to accept people exactly how they are or are we trying to change them to make them something that we want them to be? I have always been a fan of "either love someone and accept them for who they are flaws and all or don't accept them at all". It's all a juggling act in life and seeing what you can handle and what you are willing to accept or just let go.

We spend so much time looking back at things that have not worked out in the past that sometimes we are missing what is here right now, the moments that can pass us by while we are looking at the door that has been shut in the past. People make choices, they move on and some of those choices we may not agree with but in the end they are not ours to make. There is so much out there to experience that why are we not doing more of it? Questions that I am asking myself everyday.